There is no respite from this life...I think... sometimes...
Last night, I was talking to a friend of mine who has since gone back to the Far East having celebrated the lunar new year back here. We both were awake chatting via Whatsapp and later via Viber. She had just gotten back, unpacked. Every year, for the past 6 years now, it has been customary for us to visit each others' houses when her parents are down from up north. To some extent, she's like the sister I never had.
She told me she had just said goodbye to her ex who came back to take his belongings from her place. What a situation to return to.
My heart turns weary listening to her life of unsustainable relationships. She describes her ordeals as frequent as "annual dinners" for which she has grown numb and mired to the downs in her personal life. I can imagine her misery being surrounded by the four walls and the constant memories of happier times.
She says "it's lucky if one could just be alone and not lonely".
Poor girl. Nice girl. I suppose it's not her time yet. He was there after her break up but he could not stay for long too. He was not able to commit and eventually had to break it to her. He could not be there for her as she wanted to. He had tried but circumstances prevented a happy, long-term relationship and for that, parting ways was the only option to be fair to both of them.
Despite so, she does blame him for pursuing her.
She told me that the very many memories and good times of being together must be cherished and in a corner of one's heart, that special one will always have a place. That cannot be taken away and it remains a sacred aspect of your life. The very fact that the affection is real surpasses anything else.
There is a reason for everything and she alluded her realization that her very special one before him (and incidentally, was there when it all happened) not that long ago whom she still loves will constantly be in her contemplation and no matter who else comes in the way, they may have been there in her life to give her that much reminder to hold on to that love for love is a precious and priceless gift.
They are there to remind them to love and also a revelation of who she lives for; her parents, her loved one and most of all, herself.
We are indeed disappointed with people and sometimes, ourselves, but it is the human propensity to forgive and look on the good side of people which leads to our happiness and continued emotional well being. After all, to err is human but to forgive is divine.
Of course, our relationship with God is important in all respects. She meditates, I pray. We find peace in our own ways. But one thing is for sure, and I do completely agree with her; is that we must never regret our actions or decisions. We may in our heart want to live for something or someone but that may not be the case by His permissive will.
We take the blessings and live with the consequences, but there must never be any regrets, for everything has a reason and everything or anyone we so badly pine for has their place in time.