Thanks, my friend...

True friends are hard to come by....

Having followed my blog for the last couple of months, from all the way in Hong Kong, my dear friend from Hong Kong called me up. My posts have somewhat been sombre and depressing...some of them anyway... I am touched by his gesture...he's back for CNY this year, but time constraints have prevented us from meeting up... He didn't know about the break up ...

He assured me that I had a friend to talk to and that he was sorry he wasn't there for me... He needn't be... I am ever more grateful to have a listening ear...

Until very recently...it was one episode in my life I phased out almost completely for months...like a nightmare I didn't want to revisit...and in it, I was consumed by rife, anger and to some extent, hatred...more to myself for being foolhardy in my ways...causing unnecessary hurt and probably ruining a friendship which was forged all these years...

It took me a while to start grieving... as I said, I somehow phased it out of my mind for months! Maybe an instinctive reaction...self-denial? ... or perhaps my faith was conflicting with my heart... a very tough battle indeed... although we know the obvious winner, the outcome did result in a casualty... well, both actually...

I had no contact or discussion with anyone about the end of my relationship and somehow, moving to a new job makes it easier as I was disconnected with the then current crowd...or at least, be able to conjure up excuses ...

things will never be the same and the guilt that I will have to live with will be a painful reminder of not doing things before thinking things through...but then again, matters of the heart have always discarded logic on most occasions... what was a good idea then became seemingly harder to sustain as the days went on...

My dear friend's encouragement lifted evermore so much a part of the burden...he's had his fair share of depression...things happened for a reason and they had to happen, despite what we say what we "should or should not have done"... maybe for the worse at first but as he opines, the reason for which will be known later... God's will ...

Thank you, my friend, for your words of encouragement and for your friendship...

...you knew this CNY would be a hard one for me to get through and your call couldn't have come at a better time... for that, I am grateful...